Therapy With the Conlons
by Shortstack and Fishface
Summary: Spot and Anabeth find themselves in couples therapy, with none other than... COUNSELOR DAVID!


A/N: Okay, first off, disclaimer. We don't own Newsies. If we did, do you think we'd share them with you guys? (And do you really think we'd be sitting at the computer right now?) No. Alright, after we got that covered, we DO own Anabeth, and any other characters you don't recognize (also Kerry MacKilligan, though he makes no actual appearance (sorry, didn't feel like reincarnation)) This is sort of a wacky spinoff from our story "And Then There Was You". If you enjoyed it, we're sorry about this. This story was the product of a late night and too many peanutbutter cups! Yeah... enjoy.  
  
***  
  
"Good afternoon, and welcome to Sunny Days Counseling Center. I'm David Jacobs, I'll be your counselor for this session. Before we start, would anybody like something to drink?"  
  
Anabeth gave a polite, "No, thank you," while Spot Conlon simply shook his head and continued looking around the room. The pasty white walls reflected terribly under the bright lights glowing down from the ceiling. Spot remembered having to squint when he had first walked in, and he felt a throbbing pain in his head. The pushing and shoving of the four bickering children sitting on the floor wasn't helping at all.  
  
David adjusted his bow-tie, clearly borrowed from his boyfriend, Brian Denton of the New York Sun (don't pretend you didn't know). "All right then, let's get started." He pulled out a small notebook and then a pen from the pocket of his freshly-ironed shirt. "Who wants to start?" he lifted his eyes to Spot and Anabeth, both glancing nervously back at him from the couch.  
  
No one said anything for a moment. The only noise in the room was a habitual munching and crunching of Froot Loops.  
  
David looked around excitedly, as if he had inhaled helium, "How about you, Spot?" He grinned mischieviously at Spot.  
  
Spot's eyes widened, somewhat reminiscent of a deer in headlights, "Well..." He began hesitantly, "My name is Spot Conlon, this is Anabeth," He gestured towards her, "And these are our kids," he indicated each of the children sitting on the floor nearby with a point towards them, "Little Kerry Number One, Little Kerry Number Two, Little Kerry Number Three, and," he grimaced, "Kerrina."  
  
David let out a suspiciously feminine laugh, "No, no, I meant tell us about your PROBLEMS."  
  
"Well, I hate my job-"  
  
But Spot was cut off, "Why Spot?" David asked, leaning forward and completely forgetting about the notes he was allegedly taking, "Share with us."  
  
"Well, they told me I was too old to be a newsie, can you believe dat? Too old to be a newsie! So I'm working in the distribution center, and to top THAT off, I got the Delanceys, they were relocated, y'see, raggin' on me all the time, can you believe dat?"  
  
Anabeth cleared her throat, and the attention turned to her, "You just used the phrase 'can you believe dat' twice in one breath."  
  
"AND WHEN I GET HOME," Spot continued louder, as if he hadn't even heard her, "I got THIS ONE," he pointed furiously at Anabeth, "on my case all the time! It's always 'Where were you Spot? You were supposed to be home an hour ago!' I can't even go drinkin' with the boys anymore!"  
  
Anabeth shot him a glare, "You shouldn't be drinking anyway! You remember what happened to-"  
  
"SHUT UP," Spot suddenly yelled, he was beginning to feel that the slow throbbing in his head had become a full-fledged migrane, he turned back to David, who's notepad and pen were now lying on the floor, desolately forgotten. "She always brings her ex-boyfriend into everything we do! And I mean EVERYTHING." He nodded his head as David's eyes went wide with obvious excitement.  
  
Anabeth gasped, and Little Kerry Number Three tauntingly squealed, "Daddy said shut up!"  
  
"LOOK at the influence you're having on our children!" Anabeth half- screamed.  
  
Spot's knuckles were turning white enough to match the walls as he gripped the armrest of the couch angrily, "While we're on the subject of 'our children', I don't know if you've noticed yet," he pointed to the little boy on the left with the dark ponytail and the slingshot hanging out of his pocket, "but Little Kerry Number One doesn't look ANYTHING like me!"  
  
Little Kerry Number One looked up at Spot and shrugged. "What?" he said, his thick Scottish accent filling the silence.  
  
Little Kerry Number Three was still chanting in a sing-song voice, "Daddy said shut up! Daddy said shut up!" Then faster, as if it were all one word, "Daddysaidshutup! Daddysaidshutup!"  
  
"Spot, you may think my technique a little unorthodox," David moved over to the couch so that he was sitting between Spot and Anabeth, "but I like to give my patients back rubs during the session to relax them. You look like you need it." He raised an eyebrow flirtatiously.  
  
Spot twitched and continued to grip the armrest of the couch. He needed a cigarette, more than ever when David put his hands on Spot's shoulders and began rubbing them in a slow, circular motion.  
  
While Spot was counting to ten through his teeth, David half-turned to Anabeth. "What about you, Anabeth? What kind of problems have you been having?"  
  
"Well, I have to sit at home all day with my children, God bless them, kicking, and screaming, and whining, and Little Kerry Number One with that SLINGSHOT of his. And who gave it to him?"  
  
Spot seemed to be a bit calmer, "What's wrong with the slingshot?"  
  
"Well! He's always shooting and aiming at the other Kerry's! Not to mention that he's taken out three windows in the last month alone!" At the mention of this, Spot beamed proudly at Little Kerry Number One while attempting to ignore David's hands trying to discreetly travel lower down his back. "And you ENCOURAGE him!"  
  
"What? He's going to grow up to be just like me!"  
  
"Oh and that's EXACTLY what we need," Anabeth said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Another one of YOU running around."  
  
David grinned evilly, "I wouldn't mind having another one of you around." Spot suddenly felt a little pinch, a little too low, and he jumped up off the couch.  
  
Everything went quiet again for a moment, except for that incessant munching of Froot Loops. Spot couldn't help but glare at Little Kerry Number Two and wonder what the hell Froot Loops were anyway.  
  
Anabeth continued, "And when all the Little Kerry's go to bed," the three little Kerry's on the floor simultaneously covered their ears, while Kerrina listened in fascination, "it's the same thing almost every night!" Spot sat down on the couch curiously. "We eat dinner, which I made without receiving any gratitude, of course. Well, this jerk eats with his hands, chews with his mouth open, wipes his face with the back of his hand, and... doesn't use a napkin." Both Anabeth and David shot Spot a look of disgust. "And AFTER dinner," Anabeth continued, "it's 'Let's go to the bedroom, Doll-Face' so we can have THREE HOURS of the most boring sex you could imagine!"  
  
Hearing that, Spot gripped the arm of the couch again, grinding his teeth.  
  
David cleared his throat, got up from the couch, and walked back over to his chair. He picked up his notebook and pen, and wrote something down. Then, he looked up. "So, Spot, how long have you known that you're gay?"  
  
"WHAT?!" Spot leapt up from the couch and thought about making a break for the door.  
  
"I understand EXACTLY what you're going through," David reached his hand out and tried to hold Spot's, but he pulled away. "My boyfriend and I have been having problems too. But see, getting all this out in the open is GOOD. Here at Sunny Days, we have a policy of tolerance. We used to have a policy of openness," David laughed once again, in an oddly feminine manner, "but that got too many giggles."  
  
Little Kerry Number Three giggled, and Kerrina looked admiringly at David.  
  
Anabeth cut in, "Excuse me, but I wasn't done here!"  
  
"Oh, sorry," David glared at her. "Please continue."  
  
"And there's his grammar, the most God-awful insult to the English language you could ever hear. Even the kids have started picking up the habit! Why, just the other day, Little Kerry Number Three said..." she frowned, "ain't."  
  
Spot threw his hands up in the air. "There you go again! If it ain't one thing, it's another! It's always my job, or my grammar, or the way I eat, or my cane! Do you ever stop? You're always pickin', pick, pick away!!! Do you ever wonder why you have to do that?" He began pacing back and forth. "No wonder I haven't married you!"  
  
She stood up and got in his face. "Well, if you really feel that way, I'll just take the little Kerry's and LEAVE! And Spot, you can shove that cane up your-"  
  
Anabeth was drowned out by the sound of all of the little Kerry's and Kerrina gasping in unison.  
  
David clapped his hands together. "Okay, this is GOOD! We're getting all this pent-up anger out, now we can start working through your problems."  
  
"I don't really think we can work through this, I can't take it anymore!" Spot started pacing again, feeling another migrane coming on.  
  
"Me either, I don't think we can be helped now," Anabeth glared at Spot.  
  
"Well... then I guess I can recommend you to the Stormy Nights Divorce Center." David started writing on a new sheet of paper in his notebook, talking more to himself than to anyone else. "They love me over there, they say I send them the most business of anyone here. They send me fruit baskets all the time." Little Kerry Number Three giggled again.  
  
"But... but wait," Spot stuttered and stopped walking back and forth. "We ain't even married!"  
  
"You aren't?" Anabeth shook her head in response to David's question. "Oh... well I don't know if we can take care of that... But it does cut down on complications. Much less paperwork to fill out."  
  
With an icy glare in Spot's direction, Anabeth added, "And much easier closure."  
  
Spot met her cold look, "Well then fine, just go!"  
  
So she did. With a wave of her hand, all of the Little Kerry's and Kerrina got up from the floor and followed her to the door. Anabeth didn't bother to turn around and look at Spot again, but Little Kerry Number Three and Kerrina both turned to blow David a kiss as they walked out the door.  
  
David blushed and waved at them as they left, then he turned to Spot, who was breathing a sigh of relief, "So... it's just the two of us." He raised his eyebrows, "Want another back rub?"  
  
His eyes widening, Spot made that long deserved break for the door, but when got to it, he found that it was locked. The pasty white walls began to spin around and around, and David let out a multitude of feminine giggles. The room was spinning faster and faster, and suddenly everything went black.  
  
Spot shot up in bed, sweat dripping down his face. He looked around for a moment at the walls which were not freakishly white. He wiped his face and took a deep breath.  
  
He looked down at Anabeth, who was sound asleep, stretched out on the other side of the bed, with her hair a mess from the hours before. With a hint of a smile, he traced her cheekbone with the tip of his finger, and she stirred a bit but didn't wake up.  
  
Glancing across the room, he saw the small wooden crib where his only son slept. He crawled quietly out of bed and walked over to it and smiling down at the infant, thoroughly happy that there was no ponytail. He leaned over and picked up the slingshot he had let the baby play with earlier, tucking it into the bottom drawer of the dresser for safe-keeping.  
  
Walking back over to the bed, he sat down on the edge, relieved to hear the monotonous creaking of the mattress under his weight. The noise disturbed Anabeth's quiet sleep, and her eyes slowly fluttered open to see Spot staring at her through the darkness.  
  
She smiled a bit, "What are you doing? Go back to sleep," she finished with a yawn.  
  
"Marry me." It seemed like the right thing to say at the moment.  
  
Opening her eyes again, she stared back at him. "Wh-what?"  
  
Spot said, more slowly, "Will you marry me?"  
  
"Spot... it's two in the morning. Go to sleep."  
  
"Is that a 'yes'?"  
  
"No, that's a 'go back to sleep'."  
  
The two of them laughed softly, so they wouldn't wake up the baby. He laid his head back down on the pillow, and she closed her eyes.  
  
"I'll just sit here till you give me an answer."  
  
"Shut up and go back to sleep." She rolled over.  
  
He grinned at her back, "Don't say 'shut up,' it'll rub off on the baby."  
  
She turned her head back around to glare at him. "Why do you suddenly want to get married?"  
  
"I always did, I just never asked you."  
  
"But why now?"  
  
He reached over and traced her cheek again with his finger, "So we'll never have to go through marriage counseling."  
  
With a confused grin, Anabeth asked, "What do I have to say to get you to let me go back to sleep?"  
  
"Just say yes and I'll be happy."  
  
"Okay," she rolled over again and closed her eyes.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
Smiling, Spot decided that was all that he was going to get from her, and closed his eyes to fall asleep as well. Then his mouth twisted into a frown, and he opened his eyes again.  
  
"Hey, Anabeth?" He heard a muffled groan in response, and he continued. "Little Kerry... he is MINE, right?"  
  
"Of course he's yours, who else's would he be?" 


End file.
